TAMAKI SUOH: User Guide and Manual
by have-a-cookie
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own TAMAKI SUOH unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your TAMAKI SUOH unit as possible.


**TAMAKI SUOH: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own TAMAKI SUOH unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your TAMAKI SUOH unit as possible.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Rene Tamaki Richard de Grandtaine. He will also respond to "Tamaki," "baka-king," "senpai," and "daddy"

Age: 17

Place of Manufacture: Paris, France

Height: 183 cm

Weight: 71 kg

Length: Being half French has its benefits

**Your TAMAKI SUOH unit comes equipped with the following:**

One (1) Ouran Academy uniform

Three (3) books of sheet music

One (1) Kuma-chan plush

One (1) Kuma-chan pen

One (1) container of eye drops

Five (5) bouquets of roses in various colors

Two (2) packages of commoner coffee

Two (2) packages of instant Ramen

One (1) expensive cell phone

One (1) armoire of costumes

One (1) Antoinette companion unit

**Programming**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is equipped with the following traits:

Host: Your TAMAKI SUOH unit was designed specifically for hosting. His charm, good looks, and princely qualities will have girls at his every beck and call. He's known as the "Prince Charming" type of the host club and while his antics usually end in chaos, he has a good heart. You will notice that your TAMAKI SUOH unit is quite the ladies man, but don't be so quick to call him a womanizer. The majority of what he says, as clichéd as it may be, is genuine.

Piano Instructor: Your TAMAKI SUOH unit has been playing the piano since early in his youth and has become quite skilled. He's also incredibly patient and will happily teach you whatever he knows about the piano. If, however, you personally don't want to learn, he will willingly play for you as he enjoys playing as much as most like listening.

Soccer Player: While your TAMAKI SUOH unit is not known for his grace or athletic ability, he is quite good at soccer. His technique, Starlight Kick, allows him to win every time he plays. Ask him to join your team for a quick win. Don't worry, your TAMAKI SUOH unit is not a sore winner or poor sport, he will only play for the fun of the game.

Fatherly Figure: Your TAMAKI SUOH unit enjoys being the paternal figure in a group. We're not completely sure as to why this is, we just know that it's his usual behavior to take the position of self-proclaimed "daddy." Just accept it and don't rain on his parade. That will be taken care of by KYOYA OOTROI and HARUHI FUJIOKA units.

Babysitter: Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is, surprisingly, quite competent with small children. They seem to flock to his friendly and child-like personality, making him their babysitter of choice. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be able to keep any child entertained for hours. The methods your unit will take to keep the kids happy will vary. We are not responsible for any damage that others will make to your TAMAKI SUOH unit or any damages your TAMAKI SUOH unit brings to himself.

French Tutor: Your TAMAKI SUOH unit, being half French, is the perfect unit to go to for help in the language of love. Whether it's to court someone or to pass a French test, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be willing to help you learn his native language.

**Removal of your TAMAKI SUOH unit from packaging**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is very amiable by nature and there are few ways of waking him up incorrectly. However, for your benefit, we've included a few fail safe methods of opening your TAMAKI SUOH unit safely.

Method 1: Play the piano for him. If you play well, he'll open the box himself calmly and ask you to play for him more. If you play poorly, he'll break open the box and proceed to spend an hour teaching you the basics of the piano.

Method 2: Place some freshly made commoner foods in front of the box. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will become instantly enthused and break open the box himself. He will proceed to eat whatever you have placed in front of him and then proceed to try and court you.

Method 3: Place a KYOYA OOTORI unit or HAURHI FUJIOKA unit in front of your TAMAKI SUOH unit's box. Let the units chat for a bit. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be so excited to hear their voices, he will break open the box and squeeze them tightly. We are not liable for any damages a KYOYA OOTORI unit or a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit may inflict upon your TAMAKI SUOH unit.

Method 4: Place an UMEHITO NEKOZAWA unit nearby and let him talk about dark magic. If you don't have one on hand, do your best impression of a demonic chant. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit's box should begin to tremble uncontrollably. You can open the box yourself and once your unit realizes that he is not in any immediate danger, he will hug you and then attempt to court you.

Method 5: Activate the Antoinette companion unit. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will instantly awaken and break open his box, excited to see his canine friend. After a few moments of happy reunion, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will realize your presence and attempt to court you.

**Reprogramming**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is reprogrammable with the following modes:

_Prince Charming (default)_

_Foolish (default)_

_Melancholic_

_Protective_

_Sadist (locked)_

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit comes preprogrammed in _Prince Charming_ and _Foolish_ modes. In these modes your unit will be the lovable Host Club leader, charming anything with two legs and coming up with schemes that will likely fail. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be overall friendly, as well as flamboyant and ostentatious, in these modes.

In _Melancholic_, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will become incredibly depressed and will refuse to do anything except sit in his corner of woe. To get your unit into Melancholic, leave him around a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit for a few hours. She will depress your unit into this mode which will effectively send him to his corner. To get your TAMAKI SUOH unit out of _Melancholic_, simply tell him about how wonderful he is, or promise him a trip to the commoner market. He'll instantly perk up and revert to his default modes.

*Note: In _Melancholic_ your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be prone to growing mushrooms in your closet.

In _Protective_, your unit takes on responsibility as an older brother of sorts. In this mode your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be serious, thoughtful, and will put his friends, family, and owner above himself. To get your unit in this mode, just get yourself into some kind of trouble. If you ever find yourself bullied, in a fight, or crying your unit will be instantly thrown into _Protective_ and will take all measures possible to help you. If you want to return your unit back to his original factory settings, simply follow the procedures as you would in _Melancholic_.

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit's _Sadist_ mode is locked with good reason. In this mode your TAMAKI SUOH unit will be ruthless, cruel, and vicious to anyone, including you, the user. In Sadist your TAMAKI SUOH unit will make a great BDSM partner, though in Sadist he is still as dimwitted as he is in _Foolish_, so unlock at your own discretion. To unlock _Sadist_, leave out a few explicit doujinshis. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will become curious and slightly confused, leading him to ask you, the user, to explain them to him. Use this opportunity to ask if he would like a demonstration. Once you break out handcuffs, whips, or other bondage materials, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will likely understand and convert to _Sadist_. To return your TAMAKI SUOH unit to his original settings, tell him that you learned these methods from Haruhi. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will likely give an angry rant to a nearby HIKARU HITACHIIN or KAORU HITACHIIN unit and then faint in a huff. When he comes to, he will have reverted to _Prince Charming_ and _Foolish_.

*Note: If you have a KYOYA OOTORI unit in your home, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will likely go to him for answers. If this KYOYA OOTORI unit happens to be in _Furious_, we suggest that if you enjoy yaoi to grab your camera.

**Relationships with Other Units**

HARUHI FUJIOKA: This unit is your TAMAKI SUOH unit's object of affection. He will do anything to please this unit, much to the HARUHI FUJIOKA unit's despair. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit's schemes usually involve trying to woo a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit. Do not fret, these plans usually fail. It's highly advised to buy the two units together, though not required.

*Note: HAURHI FUJIOKA and TAMAKI SUOH units are highly compatible and a romance between the two _**will**_ occur if you purchase the two units together. If you wish for a more yaoi induced relationship, or plan to take your TAMAKI SUOH unit for yourself, do **not** buy a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit.

KYOYA OOTORI: The KYOYA OOTORI unit, much to his displeasure, is your TAMAKI SUOH unit's best friend. It's highly recommended to buy the units together. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will likely cling to the KYOYA OOTORI unit and refer to him as "Mama" this is normal behavior. While it may not look it, the two units are very close and very inseparable once you get them together.

*Note: Romance between the KYOYA OOTORI unit and TAMAKI SUOH unit is possible if there are no HARUHI FUJIOKA units nearby.

ÉCLAIR TONNERE: **Warning**, this unit can and will make permanent damages to your TAMAKI SUOH unit. The ÉCLAIR TONNERE unit is vicious and selfish, and wants your TAMAKI SUOH unit away from all other Host Club units. Do **not** put these units close to each other, as it will result in sending your TAMAKI SUOH unit into permanent _Melancholic _mode. It is likely that within a week of the two units encountering each other, your TAMAKI SUOH unit will disappear unless there is a nearby HARUHI FUJIOKA unit.

**Cleaning**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is quite capable of cleaning himself and will be quite embarrassed if you try to help. However, it is possible to convince him that that is how commoners bathe, though if you happen to acquire a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit the results will be rather disastrous.

**Feeding**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is quite capable of keeping himself fed. He is not a very picky eater and will eat anything given to him. He is partial to "commoner" foods such as instant coffee and noodles. Your TAMAKI SUOH unit is also of French descent, so he is quite inclined to eat foods from his home country as well.

**Rest**

Your TAMAKI SUOH unit will go to bed at a decent hour, but he is a chipper morning person. If you don't wish to be rudely awoken at the crack of dawn, make him stay up later in the evenings.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q. How do I control the growth of mushrooms my TAMAKI SUOH unit grows in my closet?

A. Keep him out of _Melancholic_. When he gets depressed he resorts to growing mushrooms. Sorry about that. If you get a HARUHI FUJIOKA unit to yell at him, he'll probably clean up his mushroom garden.

Q. How am I supposed to respond when my unit tells me to call him daddy?

A. However you would like. If you wish to make your unit happy, call him daddy, if only just to humor him. If you feel uncomfortable, he'd probably accept you calling him "brother" as well. If you'd rather address him by name, he'll be disappointed and insist that you call him "daddy" but will drop the subject when he realizes that you won't.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: My Tamaki unit gets a lot of attention when we go out. I can't even go five feet without him getting us stopped.

Solution: Yes, well, your TAMAKI SUOH unit is, in case you haven't noticed, quite handsome. He's likely to have a few admirers at the least, and getting stopped will likely happen. You brought this on yourself, having bought such a beautiful unit. However, if it becomes too much of a problem, make your TAMAKI SUOH unit wear a hat.

Problem: I opened the box and inside is a French speaking toddler clutching a Kuma-chan. What am I supposed to do?

Solution: There are three different versions of a TAMAKI SUOH unit (chibi!Tamaki, middleschool!Tamaki and the original!Tamaki) and it seems we have sent you a chibi version by mistake. Chibi!Tamaki units are known for attachment to blondes, as they resemble his mother. Your Chibi!Tamaki unit can also only French at the moment, though he catches on fast to English. If you don't wish to keep this particular version of a TAMAKI SUOH unit feel free to send him back.

Problem: My TAMAKI SUOH unit just turned into a robot.

Solution: Give him some brain teaser rings so he can sort out his thoughts. He likely just found out that someone has realized Haruhi's secret. This behavior will blow over shortly.

**End Notes**

You have picked a wonderful, though chaotic, unit to spend your life with. You will find that, despite his moronic tendencies, your TAMAKI SUOH unit makes for a wonderful companion that will never leave your life with a dull moment.

Good luck!

**A/N: Don't forget to vote in the poll on my page for the next unit (if you voted last time, there's a new one :D) **


End file.
